1 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,038 Hey. How was your shower? 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,741 Nice... all the rust in your water makes a great exfoliant. 3 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,511 And you thought it was gonna kill you. 4 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,780 Seriously, don't let that get in your mouth. 5 00:00:15,937 --> 00:00:18,017 Kind of wish the walls were a little thicker, though. 6 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,885 It feels like your neighbor could hear everything. 7 00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:20,919 Not everything. 8 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,355 Good to know, Ray. 9 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,157 This one's a keeper, Jenny. 10 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,393 Ray has been very supportive. 11 00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:30,162 Oh, I love having you here and playing house. 12 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,397 Mm. 13 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,098 I think you should stay here every night. 14 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,733 Yeah, though I do miss 15 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,602 my organic California-king pillow-top, extra-firm, 16 00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,337 adjustable memory-foam mattress. 17 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:42,574 Well, old lumpy's been with me since I was 19. 18 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:45,244 Oh, my God. If this bed could talk... 19 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:49,014 It would be silent. 20 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,050 So, where do you want to sleep tonight... the hill or the valley? 21 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,052 Mm, I'll take the hill. I like the view. 22 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,486 Okay. 23 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,956 - Good night. - Good night. 24 00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,124 Are you guys gonna do it? 25 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,260 - Good night, Ray! - Good night, Ray! 26 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,533 Are you wearing jeans? 27 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,735 Yeah. This is how we dress downstairs, man. 28 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:11,637 And I got to tell you, I kind of like it. 29 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,806 It's super-laid-back. The hours are great. 30 00:01:13,808 --> 00:01:15,407 You know what I saw when I got out last night? 31 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,408 - What's that? - Night. 32 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,211 I miss night. 33 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,138 I haven't had a night off since the "Sex and the City" movie. 34 00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:22,614 Which one? 35 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:23,949 There were two? 36 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,117 Ohh. 37 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,652 I never go out anymore, man. 38 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,587 I can't remember the last time I got laid. 39 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,122 I'm in, like, a record dry spell. 40 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:32,491 I swear, this morning... heat lightning. 41 00:01:33,806 --> 00:01:35,127 I don't have time for this, okay? 42 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,295 I got to go talk to Mansfield. 43 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:37,896 Ooh, in jeans? 44 00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,665 Do you want to borrow my emergency slacks? 45 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,899 No, no, no, no. 46 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,301 This time, it's not about business. 47 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,635 I'm gonna remind him of our personal connection. 48 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,837 He can't resist that. 49 00:01:44,839 --> 00:01:46,839 Unrelated, why do you look so good? 50 00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:48,006 Your skin's glowing. 51 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,741 This morning, I had a rusty shower. 52 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:52,144 Oh, my God, they invented new sex moves? 53 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,280 Good morning, Mr. Mansfield. 54 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,815 I have a little something for you. 55 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,183 What's with the costume? 56 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,952 It's not a costume. They're called jeans. 57 00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,687 Well, I know what they are. 58 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:04,423 I own several pair of dungarees myself. 59 00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:07,826 You'd be surprised just how many Western-themed charity events 60 00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,161 I have to attend. 61 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:10,496 Actually, I went to one the other night. 62 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:11,964 I can't remember what it was called, 63 00:02:11,966 --> 00:02:14,766 but they show you pictures of... of teeth and gums, 64 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,736 and damn it if you don't just write a check! 65 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,340 Well, anyway, I thought you might be interested in this. 66 00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,942 It's the original signature page from the Thomas account. 67 00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,210 I found it downstairs. 68 00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,879 It must have been shredded by accident, 69 00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,714 so I pieced it together... it reminds me of the time 70 00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,449 we accidentally shredded the Mays file. 71 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,885 You and I worked all night reassembling it. 72 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:34,887 And then, as the sun rose on your balcony, 73 00:02:34,889 --> 00:02:36,955 you said... why? 74 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:38,857 I see what you're doing. 75 00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:41,894 You've come in here with hopes of warming me up 76 00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:45,631 with your talk of old times and your blue cotton trousers. 77 00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,867 I was just making conversation. 78 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,869 But that's not our relationship anymore. 79 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,137 You know what they say... 80 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,640 Fool me once, not gonna happen. 81 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,708 Fool me twice, I thought I made it clear 82 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,144 you didn't fool me the first time. 83 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,080 So, you and I can no longer talk? 84 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:03,348 Don't blame me. 85 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,750 I used to love giving you advice. 86 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:07,386 But there will be no more chitchat. 87 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,488 Just so you know, I spent a long time on that. 88 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,356 - That sound like chit. - Just let me say... 89 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,892 That sounds like chat. Good day. 90 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,994 - Ms. Harris! - Yes, sir? 91 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,162 What do you need? Anything. 92 00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:20,199 You want me to write a logarithm, algorithm, cryptarithm? 93 00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,334 Like they said at M.I.T., I've got "-ithm." 94 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,435 Ha. 95 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:25,103 How would you like to be a part 96 00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,039 of one of the biggest deals in the history of this company? 97 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,207 I would love to! 98 00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:30,242 And you will. But not today. 99 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,346 Go ahead and un-shred that for me, will you? 100 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,515 - Great. I love puzzles. - I love your attitude. 101 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,517 - You know, I was actually voted... - We're done! 102 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,695 Well, it's gonna take longer than I thought to get out of these jeans. 103 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:52,864 Oh, not if I have anything to do with it. 104 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,733 Mwah. 105 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,568 I know you want your job back upstairs, 106 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,103 but I love having you down here. 107 00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,138 They're here! They're here! Paychecks! 108 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:01,440 Ha, ha, yes! 109 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,975 I don't work this hard for nothing. 110 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,410 - Can you bring me mine? - I'm on break. 111 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,945 Guess who's getting his beard trimmed? 112 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:09,948 And not at the dog place. 113 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,883 Mr. Moyer, I believe that's for you. 114 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,552 Oh, this is very exciting. 115 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,654 This is my very first downstairs... 116 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,890 What the... fi... how? 117 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,425 This can't be right. 118 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,760 Oh, no. It's not. 119 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,228 They forgot to take out social security. 120 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:24,896 So they'll just take out more next time. 121 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,231 "Take out more"? 122 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,667 This is less than I pay my waxer. 123 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:35,507 For my car, you idiot. 124 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,478 Well, well, well, well, well. 125 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,281 Looks like poor little rich boy's now got to wax 126 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,817 like all us poor people. 127 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,620 Hey, Harvard, Brody's one of us now, okay? 128 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,255 I'm just saying... upstairs people 129 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,090 can't make it on a downstairs paycheck. 130 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,626 Dude, I was a money manager, okay? 131 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,928 If you can do it, I can do it. 132 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,530 Why don't you put your lack of money 133 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,065 where your tiny, hairless mouth is? 134 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,200 How about I put my tiny, hairless mo... 135 00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,036 This is not going anywhere good. 136 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,038 All right, why don't you two make a bet? 137 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,839 Whoever has the most money left over 138 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,675 from their paychecks on Friday wins. 139 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,043 - I'm in. - Yeah, me too. 140 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:12,811 Babe, are you sure? 141 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,047 You're gonna have to make, like, some serious waxing adjustments. 142 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,649 Well, trust me. I can figure out a way, okay? 143 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,518 I can live on this every week. 144 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,519 It's every two weeks. 145 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,953 What the f... how? 146 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,165 All right, to make the bet fair, I cashed both your paychecks. 147 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,468 You each get the same amount of money minus the "ADM" fee. 148 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,869 Oh, you mean ATM fee. 149 00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,806 No, ADM... "Automatic Derrick Money." 150 00:05:42,041 --> 00:05:43,675 Okay. It's on. 151 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:47,179 How do I know Brody's not gonna cheat with his rich-people tricks? 152 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,347 You know, with... 153 00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,482 Bank accounts and credit scores. 154 00:05:51,651 --> 00:05:54,186 Simple... Just give me all your cards. Okay. 155 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,822 All right, Brody's got a gold card, platinum card, 156 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,156 and a black card. 157 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:01,893 Harvard's got a sandwich-club card, a yoga-club card, 158 00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,896 and a card that appears to be the six of diamonds. 159 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,532 Were you thinking of the six of diamonds? 160 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,500 I am now. 161 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:10,502 How did I do it? 162 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,209 Hey, Jenny. 163 00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,410 Can I talk to you for a second? 164 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,345 Sure. 165 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,414 Um... So... 166 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,883 I'm having a bit of a dry spell with the ladies. 167 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,284 Okay. 168 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,020 And I was wondering if you had a friend 169 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:32,591 you could maybe set me up with who could... 170 00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:35,360 Make it rain. 171 00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:41,533 Okay, so, you would like to use one of my friends 172 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,968 as a slump-buster. 173 00:06:45,304 --> 00:06:48,940 That is a degrading term, and I would never use it. 174 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,710 Why? Were you thinking of somebody specific, or...? 175 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,747 Oh, that's impressive. 176 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,617 You have perfectly re-assembled an e-mail from my wife 177 00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,552 asking me what I want for dinner. 178 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,053 Spoiler alert... 179 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:06,391 it's anything with meat because, damn it, I'm a man. 180 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,926 I've never met anyone 181 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,729 who printed out and shredded all of their e-mails. 182 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,297 Well, if it's worth reading, it's worth printing. 183 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,665 And if it's worth printing, 184 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,034 then it's no one else's goddamn business. 185 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,605 You know, I got to confess to you... 186 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,441 you remind me of someone... 187 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:26,111 a new associate working late on a night not unlike this 188 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,113 with a man a hell of a lot like me. 189 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,249 And I just want you to know that if you ever need any advice 190 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,250 I'm here. 191 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,453 Well, I have a system. 192 00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,254 I bet you do. 193 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,989 Show me what you got there, kiddo. 194 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,791 First, I find a letter. 195 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,193 Aha. 196 00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:42,461 Then, I make up a song about that letter. 197 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,865 Good night! 198 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,139 Whatcha doing? 199 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,707 My budget. 200 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,610 Ooh, oh, panties, you stay on there. 201 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:03,014 Hey, this is exciting for me, okay? 202 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,716 I cut all this stuff from my budget, 203 00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,184 and I still have a little savings left over 204 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,619 to put in the bank every month. 205 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,955 I put my savings in that jar over the fridge. 206 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,223 That jar is empty. 207 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:15,126 No, I used my savings to buy that jar. 208 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,696 Hey, if you stay over on Friday, 209 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,397 we can go check out that farmer's market. 210 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,832 Oh, yeah, I'll definitely be here Friday. 211 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,833 I just gave up my apartment. 212 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,569 You did what? Y-you... 213 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,671 yeah, well, that was the biggest savings of all. 214 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,373 I mean, that place cost a fortune. 215 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,076 So, we're living together. 216 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:33,078 No. We're crashing. 217 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,180 Just until I get my job back. 218 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,348 It's gonna be fun, right? 219 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,749 Yeah! 220 00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,050 Yes. Fun. Yes. 221 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,486 Crashing's fun. Crashing's so fun. 222 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,989 I l-love me some crashing. 223 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,224 So, do you want the hill or the valley? 224 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,393 Oh, whatever you want. You live here now. 225 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,509 Morning. 226 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,510 How'd you sleep? 227 00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,979 Fan-freaking-tastic. 228 00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:19,925 Oh, spending all your money on lunch. 229 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,860 Look who's already lost the bet. 230 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,928 It's a hot dog. 231 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,463 And a bun. 232 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,465 Enjoy your tiny wiener. 233 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,304 And your hot dog. 234 00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:41,146 For your information, my tiny wiener only cost 79 cents. 235 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:44,883 Damn, that's cheap. 236 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,652 It's not cheaper than the buffet across the street, though. 237 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,621 You mean the grocery store? 238 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:53,291 And then for dessert, we had 10 packets of Splenda. 239 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,562 I got to be honest. I actually feel pretty good. 240 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,664 My teeth do hurt a little bit, but... 241 00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,399 Hey, guys. 242 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,801 Hey, babe. 243 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,302 Oh, I was thinking about for dinner tonight, 244 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,670 maybe Ramen at our place. 245 00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,606 I think you just said "our" place. 246 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,140 Ooh, did I? I'm sorry. I meant your place. I mean, I heard that. 247 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,575 Oh, no, no, no. It's not a big deal. Okay. 248 00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,110 No, my place, your place, our place... 249 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,578 It's just a place. 250 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,714 Anyway, um, it's great seeing you. 251 00:10:23,489 --> 00:10:26,091 I mean, I don't know why I'm freaking out, Lindsay. 252 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,626 I-I love him, but it's like... 253 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,427 We've only been dating for six months. 254 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,262 Oh, my God, we've been dating for six months. 255 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,633 That beats my last record by six months. 256 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,267 You don't have to tell me 257 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,003 about relationships moving too fast. 258 00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,605 I mean, you meet a guy, things are hot and heavy, 259 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:44,576 and then, boom, next thing you know, Comic-Con is over. 260 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:48,213 And you see him without his armor, 261 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,315 and it turns out he's just another short, fat guy 262 00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:53,018 who won't call you back. 263 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,653 Sweetie, I'm sorry. 264 00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,287 Don't be. I stole his sword. 265 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,558 I don't know. 266 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,060 Maybe I'm just over-tired. 267 00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,030 I didn't sleep very well last night after Brody moved in. 268 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,965 Did you say, "Brody moved in"? 269 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,199 Well, yes, sir. He, uh... 270 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,567 I don't care. 271 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,089 Not getting sucked back into his life. 272 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,372 I mean, I feel bad, you know? 273 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,907 He only did it to try and save money. 274 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,208 Oh, to save money... 275 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,710 What could possibly go wrong with that? 276 00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,746 Let me tell you something... nothing! 277 00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,882 He didn't even tell me before he... 278 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,418 No. 279 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,587 Not gonna do it. 280 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,590 Got to go home! 281 00:11:34,768 --> 00:11:36,728 Hey, check out that girl cleaning out the garbage. 282 00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:37,996 Is she cute? 283 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,431 No, and she's a dude. 284 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,901 He's not even cute. 285 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,703 Yeah. 286 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,171 I'm so off my game, man. 287 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,006 You have no idea what it's like out there. 288 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:49,441 You're so lucky you have Jenny. 289 00:11:49,443 --> 00:11:51,209 Yeah, I am. 290 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,510 Now you guys are living together? That's awesome. 291 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,112 How'd you ask her? Was it romantic? 292 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,614 Did you, like, sprinkle rose petals or release a dove? 293 00:11:56,616 --> 00:12:00,852 Do you know how long it's been since I've released a dove? 294 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,588 You know, actually, I didn't do anything super-romantic. 295 00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,458 I kind of just... Didn't leave. 296 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:07,792 That's unlike you. 297 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,961 I mean, you're all about the big moments. 298 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,564 You wrote her a song for your one-week anniversary. 299 00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:23,541 You got to take it easy on me... 300 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:24,609 The falsetto's too much, huh? 301 00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,077 It's really good. 302 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,312 You know, you're right, though. 303 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,646 I mean, she was freaking out 304 00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,981 ever since I said I was crashing there. 305 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,449 She wants a commitment. 306 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,551 Yeah, of course she does, dude. She's a girl. 307 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,754 Oh, it was so obvious, too. 308 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:38,890 I mean, she said that she loved playing house with me, 309 00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,892 that I should stay there every night. 310 00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:43,728 Learn to take a hint, bro. She wants to be smothered. 311 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,564 Dude, that is such great advice. 312 00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,366 Yeah, man. I know women. 313 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,237 What about her? Is she cute? 314 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,772 Uh, behind the old dude? 315 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,140 Never mind. 316 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,113 All right. Catch you later. 317 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,348 Or never. 318 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,682 Your call. 319 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,018 Jenny, thank God you're here. 320 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,486 I need your help. 321 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,854 Every woman in this bar has shot me down, 322 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,289 and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. 323 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,924 I will buy you a car! 324 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:13,992 Oh. Okay. 325 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,426 You're here. 326 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,761 Sit down. Sit down. 327 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:17,962 We got to get this desperate off of you. 328 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,131 Okay, now, deep breath. 329 00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,432 All that needs to happen 330 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,801 is that the women in here need to know 331 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,369 that one woman finds you attractive. 332 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,004 Okay, well, that's kind of the problem. 333 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,005 Mm, not for long. 334 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:32,210 I'm laughing like I think you're hilarious. 335 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,680 And now I'm stroking your hair 336 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,183 to show a level of physical attraction. 337 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,851 I love you. 338 00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:42,487 - Stay focused, okay? - Mm-hmm. 339 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,822 And now I'm sulking 340 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:46,124 because that girl over there is staring, 341 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:47,725 and I'm getting jealous. 342 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,460 But she means nothing to me. 343 00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,632 Threepeat, listen closely, okay? 344 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:55,834 Mm-hmm. 345 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,569 No, not that close. Mm-hmm. 346 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,006 Go to the bar, sit down, order a drink, 347 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:04,175 and do not talk to that girl for 10 minutes. Okay. 348 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,244 - Uh, I can maybe do 10 seconds. - That's great. 349 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,547 Hey, guys. 350 00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,384 In a bar... on your budget. 351 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,820 Good way to lose the bet, Mr. Buffett. 352 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,755 Jimmy or Warren... it works both ways. 353 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,325 Ooh! Good burn. 354 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:23,428 I don't know who any of those people are, but ouch! 355 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,929 Yeah, well, uh, Harvard, nice try. 356 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,397 You're also in a bar. 357 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,600 Yeah, because I'm an urban survivalist. 358 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:30,935 I can go the entire night and not even spend a dime. 359 00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,904 Okay. How'd you get that beer? 360 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,910 Use what little brain you have under those tight curls. 361 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,211 What is bar short for? 362 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,913 "Bar-ter." 363 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,716 Actually, the term was popularized in the old west 364 00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,384 when a rail... or bar, if you will... 365 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,785 ran... what am I doing? 366 00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:50,588 It's like, "hey, wind. Here comes piss." 367 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,090 Look. 368 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:54,926 If I want a beer, I "bar-ter" one lingering hug 369 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:57,428 with the bartender/former cult leader. 370 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,134 You feel good about yourself? 371 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,202 Yeah, always. 372 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,270 Round two? 373 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,704 Absolutely. 374 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,640 Hey, Frank, two more coors lights. 375 00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:10,008 Get in here, fella! 376 00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:15,413 Hey, babe. 377 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,982 Hey. There he is... my Brody. 378 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,484 Where I work, where I live, where I play, 379 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,752 Brody, Brody, Brody. 380 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,287 That's a lot of Brodys. 381 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,422 Mm-hmm. Sure feels that way. 382 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,623 Let's be honest. 383 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,826 This whole crashing-together thing, it's not what you want. 384 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:29,827 Oh, my God. 385 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,062 Oh, my God. 386 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,096 Thank you for saying that. 387 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,398 I'm so sorry, baby. 388 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,499 I just didn't know how to tell you. 389 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:35,667 No, no, no. It's my fault. 390 00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,068 I handled the whole thing wrong. 391 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,636 Look, I'm just gonna come out 392 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,338 and say what I should have said in the first place. 393 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,506 Let's live together. 394 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,408 - I'm sorry. What? - Yeah. 395 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,642 No more crashing, 396 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:46,644 no more "just until I get my job back." 397 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,681 You and I are in this thing together, so I'm not going anywhere. 398 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,123 I have to go. I got to go. 399 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,258 Okay. 400 00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,295 Somebody looks pretty pathetic. 401 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:16,207 Oh, dude, the drought is over. 402 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,309 Hooked up in a big way last night. 403 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,845 Oh, cool. Was anyone else there? 404 00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,248 This time, yes. 405 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,453 And it got pretty weird pretty fast. 406 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,122 I think she gave me a rusty shower. 407 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,523 Well, what exactly did she... 408 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,192 No, you know what? I don't want to know. 409 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:36,794 How'd it go with Jenny? 410 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,162 Turns out your advice was not that great. 411 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,731 Oh, yeah, dude. I'm terrible with women. 412 00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:41,099 Don't you know me? 413 00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:44,302 Good morning, Mr. Mansfield. 414 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,604 I'm just here to take care of your plants. 415 00:16:47,647 --> 00:16:49,407 Well, I think you've watered that one enough. 416 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,142 - How do you know, sir? - Well, it's a lamp. 417 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,512 Look, I'm sorry. 418 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:55,980 It's just things were going so well with Jenny. 419 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,648 And then I move in with... you know what? 420 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,450 You know what? I forgot. No chit. No chat. 421 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,988 Mr. Mansfield, I did it. I finally finished. Whew! 422 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,258 I'm still a little light-headed from the glue. 423 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,559 Well done, Ms. Harris. 424 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,228 Won't you... won't you please have a seat? 425 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,997 Tell me... how... how familiar are you 426 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,899 with the history of the conquistadors 427 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,100 of the 16th century? 428 00:17:16,102 --> 00:17:18,870 Not super-familiar. 429 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,371 Well, in 1519, 430 00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,774 Cortés and his men were able to do something 431 00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:26,711 that no one else had done in 600 years of trying. 432 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,912 He defeated the Aztecs. 433 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,347 His secret? 434 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,115 Well, he burned his own ships. 435 00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:33,251 And the Aztecs were afraid of fire? 436 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,886 He did it to motivate his own men. 437 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,254 And his men were afraid of fire. 438 00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,789 T-this will go much more smoothly 439 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,957 as soon as you understand it's not a conversation. 440 00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,392 Gotcha. 441 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:45,963 Cortés wanted his men to know that there was no way home 442 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,066 and that the only way for them to actually survive 443 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:52,537 was to defeat the Aztecs, and... well, it worked. 444 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,605 It turns out when... 445 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:59,710 when people feel cornered, well, they'll fight like hell. 446 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:03,448 Doesn't even matter how deeply they may actually care about each other. 447 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,218 Thank you, sir. 448 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,053 Oh, I wasn't talking to you, 449 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:12,123 but if you did glean some insight from what I said, 450 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,591 well, there's nothing I can do about that. 451 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,295 Can I just... 452 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:18,362 Don't ruin the moment. 453 00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,269 So... 454 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,206 Good night. Okay. 455 00:18:35,347 --> 00:18:36,314 Hey. 456 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:38,316 Uh, listen. 457 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,485 I-I'm so sorry that I've been freaking out. 458 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:41,919 I love you. 459 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,821 I love you. And I love having you here. 460 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:47,191 It's just that when I see you here, sometimes I just... 461 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,093 I feel like I'm falling and drowning at the same time. 462 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:50,962 I'm moving out. 463 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,498 Oh, no. Why? 464 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,500 I know this sounds crazy, 465 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,635 but I don't want to burn your ships. 466 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,270 Oh, you mean like Cortés? 467 00:19:00,439 --> 00:19:02,540 Yeah, actually. 468 00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,709 Anyway, I love living with you, 469 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,344 but I think we should wait until we're ready. 470 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,812 So I got my own place. 471 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:11,015 And, uh, it's not much, but I can afford it. 472 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:12,683 Well... 473 00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,887 I mean, maybe you should just crash here tonight. 474 00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:19,323 Well, I guess I could just move into my new place tomorrow. 475 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:22,460 Well, but tomorrow's almost the weekend, and... 476 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,796 We could check out that farmer's market. 477 00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:27,832 I don't know. Let's just play it by ear. 478 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,133 Okay. 479 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,134 That sounds great. 480 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:34,839 Baby, thank you for moving out. 481 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,507 No problem. 482 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,708 Glad it worked out! 483 00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:38,876 Thanks, Ray. 484 00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:44,615 - He's so supportive. - He really is. 485 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,656 Well, well, well, lower the drawbridge. 486 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,991 Sir spend-a-lot is here. 487 00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,393 Okay, okay. You got me. 488 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:56,994 But for the record, 489 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,529 I spent the last of my money trying to make Jenny happy, 490 00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,697 and I regret nothing. 491 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,365 For the record, 492 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,034 I've spent the past three years trying to make Jenny happy, 493 00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,636 and you're a dick. 494 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,407 All right, boys. Let's count it up. 495 00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:12,610 All right, final count for Brody is $2. 496 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,378 And Harvard has $1. 497 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,513 What?! 498 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:19,917 Damn it! Why did I spend $2 on this celebratory licorice rope? 499 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,453 Oh, my God. I won! 500 00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,255 Wait, what did we even play for? 501 00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:25,223 The usual. 502 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,395 How's it going? 503 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,430 Hey. 504 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,232 Come on, man. 505 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:38,869 You guys got some numbers going on here? 506 00:20:39,973 --> 00:20:42,039 What in the hell are you doing? 507 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,375 I'm streaking. 508 00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:47,545 Well, don't most people run when they streak? 509 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:51,048 Most people feel shame. 510 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:54,051 Most people also feel fear. 511 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,653 Okay. Yeah. Oh, roger that. 512 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:57,955 I'm gonna just get this elevator here. 513 00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,590 That's... okay. 514 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,626 Open the elevators!